Better Than Gold
By mstrohm | February 20, 2010
I am thinking about the Olympics and the training and instruction of our children. Olympic champions rise to the top through a combination of their God given talent and a HUGE amount of drive.
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
“Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” I Corinthians 9:24-27
Parents, your efforts are to be focused on far more than winning Olympic Gold, dedicate yourself to daily training your children to “Run in such a way as to get the prize” – eternal life through Jesus Christ. I believe Christian parents experience success through a combination of total dependence on God coupled with a consuming desire to train and instruct their children in His ways.
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4
Mark and Ellen Strohm
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Rights vs. Obligations
By mstrohm | February 12, 2010
Today on the radio a mother talked about her teen son who went shopping with a group of friends at a local mall. Meeting his friends for lunch he discovered that he was not charged for one article of clothing in his bag. Upon announcing his frustration with having to return to pay for the item he was soundly ridiculed by his friends. They reasoned that since he did not create this problem his friends insisted that it was his “right” to keep the item for free. Oddly enough, when the boy disregarded his friends advice and took the item back to the store the clerk was annoyed with the boy and told him that he was making her look bad for missing the one item.
While I believe and know that there are certain rights we must hold onto, I find it distressing with the emphasis on “rights” to the exclusion of being taught about obligations. The radio announcer who was educated in a Jewish, private school stated that he was told his education was unique because religious education emphasized one’s obligation based on God’s laws, but secular education emphasized “rights” based on man’s laws.
I have been thinking about rights vs. obligations all day. Even if we do not have a legal obligation, there are many “obligations” based on God’s laws. Some of our evangelical friends may want to emphasize “grace” and excuse our “obligations” but I think the Jewish radio announcer had it right. We need to keep in mind biblical mandates or obligations which lead us to do “what is right” over claiming “rights.” Parents would do well to teach children the difference.
Mark Strohm
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Christmas Greed
By mstrohm | December 6, 2009
The following appeared a few years ago, but is worth repeating.
Are your kids consumer junkies, expecting their next big “fix” this Christmas? As Christians we should be celebrating Christ’s birth, not using this holiday as an excuse for indulgence. Here are a few suggestions to help stave off the greed:
Help your children focus on someone besides themselves. Participate in Operation Christmas Child, or some other needy cause. Perhaps your church could connect you to a needy family. If you know someone who has suffered a loss you can plan a special meal and invite them over. Are still not sure where to find someone in need? Here are two suggestions on where individuals in need of a blessing can be found: a bus stop and Laundromats. You can offer coffee, hot chocolate, tea, home baked cookies, etc. to bring holiday cheer!
Plan to give gently used but no longer played with toys away. Firmly, but lovingly insist that your child make room for new toys that will be arriving for Christmas. You can use this as a learning lesson. Discuss how much each toy was played with. Did it bring the satisfaction your child had hoped for? After you decide which toys should go, separate into two piles, one to discard and another to give away.
Be forthright about your Christmas budget. If your child is old enough, discuss the amount you are going to spend for his or her presents. Engage them in discussions about their Christmas list. “If you received this item, it would be the only present you get, what do you think about that?” Set the budget low enough to add an “extra” child. If you have two children and plan to spend $300, divide that amount into three instead of two. This “extra child” money can be used for a favorite charity decided by the family.
Actively talk about limiting consumption. What does it mean to “choose less?” Discuss why more is not better, and how more only satisfies temporarily. Talk about examples of friends or acquaintances who received an expensive item but did not seem to be any happier. Talk about how children who get everything they want are often miserable. Make sure you weave into your conversing an understanding that only one present can truly satisfy – the gift of Jesus Christ!
Sit down and watch a Christmas television special together as a family. Then talk about the message of the commercials. Highlight how commercials foster greed by developing a desire for more “stuff.” Explain how companies try to depict what is “cool” and “not cool” to sell their items and make a profit, not “help” children have better lives. Talk about how segregating between those who are “cool” and those who are not only hurts individuals. Conclude with a clear understanding that those making commercials and selling those products do not have our best interests in mind, only theirs.
When your family is together (car rides are great for this) have each person share by finishing this line: “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should buy. . .” Then discuss why they chose the item they did. Was it because it was not needed? Because it sends the wrong message to others? Because they already have enough? Point out which of their statements are Biblical truths.
It is easy for our children to get caught up in the consumerism of this holiday. While taking time for your usual decorating, shopping and cookie baking, parents would be wise to set aside some time to teach and train your children. Looking past the greed will help your children recognize the real reason for the season.
May God’s grace and peace be with you,
Mark Strohm, Jr.
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Avoid Homework Battles
By mstrohm | October 11, 2009
School is in full swing again. For some families school time marks the beginning of homework struggles! The hope and dreams of a fresh start with the new year being different have quickly faded and instead many parents and their child are once again engaged in the dreaded homework battles.
I have often heard frustrated parents declare that they are clueless how to avoid these battles. “I remind my child to do their homework, but they never get around to doing it” parents will say. The problem is not understanding a set of routines and steps which are required in getting homework completed. Many children need more than just a reminder to do their homework. They need several clearly established routines that will set them up for success. If you find yourself at war with your child here are some suggestions to help you survive! The wise parent will establish expectations, rewards and punishments based on each of these routines, rather than on the end product.
Establish A Time. These times should be the same each day. If you need to get a $10 alarm clock and set it to go off when homework time begins. It is one thing to nag your child about getting his or her homework done, but quite another to have clearly set times which will provide an opportunity to get the homework done. If homework times are non-negotiable and regularly enforced you will be on your way to winning the battle.
Establish A Homework Zone. Once you have established a time help your child know what is and is not acceptable during homework time. It may be common sense to adults that TV, radio, phones, iPods, and other distractions will not help the homework effort, but don’t expect your reluctant child to set up an environment that will give him or her the best shot for success. Clearly establish where and under what conditions you expect homework time to happen.
Establish How To Get Help. Hold your child responsible to get answers to their questions. If he or she does not know how to do a homework assignment teach them how to get help. Should they ask you, call a friend, look it up on the internet? Many children simply stop doing work if they cannot figure out what to do next. By placing the responsibility on them you take away a key weapon in the homework war. Talk through how you expect them to keep working.
Establish Accountability. Know what homework needs to be done and how you will check it before homework time can come to an end. If you need to, work with your child’s teacher. Utilize any computerized homework reporting system. Go to your child’s back-to-school night or conference to find out how you can keep your child accountable.
If routines are enforced without question they often end fighting. A child’s whining and fighting disappear quickly if these actions produce no results. By keeping these clear expectations you will be providing your child with the tools necessary for successfully completing homework.
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Happy Father’s Day
By mstrohm | June 21, 2009
God bless each father who takes time every day to invest in his or her child! In a world that praises those who succeed in positions, power or finances, I say thanks to those who succeed as Dad! Your time and efforts will be a blessing not only to your children, but to those who come in contact with your children and for generations to come.
Thanks!
Mark Strohm, Jr.
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Mothers
By mstrohm | May 10, 2009
When Ellen and I had two children and another on the way we had a conversation with a neighbor who had been married many more years than we were. When asked about the possibility of children, she emphatically stated that children were not in her life goals. She had many milestones she had hoped to accomplish and motherhood was not one of them. I was so taken back by her self centeredness. The world was all about her and what she had wanted to accomplish. In many ways she was right. She would have to give up much to become a mother!
I believe that God clearly places the calling of motherhood upon individuals. The concept of “calling” is not always clear in today’s world. The idea that God places abilities and gifts within you and would therefore choose you for a particular task seems odd to us. God gives mothers a special grace, along with capabilities, so that they can be that special blend of love, patience and sacrifice we call mother.
So, to all of you who have the special calling of motherhood, thanks for all you do and for all you have given up to take on the title of mother.
Mark Strohm, Jr.
Colossians 2 Ministry
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Parent’s Rights
By mstrohm | April 15, 2009
As Christians and personally, as someone who has appreciated the right to choose a Christian education for my children, I am alarmed when government feels they need to issue “rights” for our children. Nearly always these “rights” are not at all intended for the good of our children, but rather for the propagation of specific organizations whose desires are to use the arm of the law to force their agenda on another group.
The U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child is now gaining support among many in the US Congress. It would apprear they desire for the US and all countries to turn parental rights over to UN regulations. This is the same UN who has not made any serious efforts to stop human trafficking around the world and will not take a stand against 12 year old prostitutes in Europe. Yet, somehow we are supposed to believe that the UN has our children’s best interest in mind. Many believe that joining the UN Treaty for children’s rights will eventually be used against Christians and conservatives to limit their right to home school, provide a Christian school education, to decide which church a child will attend, as well as limit other parental authority.
As a young man I can remember listening to the debates concerning a women’s right to abortion. “How can anyone beleive that a women should not be able to abort when her life was in danger?” the argument was presented. Yet, as soon as abortion became legal, any and every “excuse” was quickly presented to allow for abortions. No one can argue that abortions now being preformed have anything to do with “protecting the life of the mother.” In the same way I hear “How can anyone be against simple rights for our children?”
Watching the abortion issue unfold, I seriously wonder what the real motives are behind the UN Treaty.
For more information visit: http://parentsrights.us/
Mark Strohm, Jr.
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Embryology Lesson
By mstrohm | March 15, 2009
chicks
It was my privilege this week to listen to a lesson on the development of chicken eggs. The third grade teacher explained to her pupils the difficult struggle a chick will go through in an effort to break out of its egg. Each child listened as the teacher explained that even with a special egg tooth, the struggle is immense. Just to break a small hole in the egg is so exhausting it typically results in the chick resting for more than an hour. The teacher used her charts to showed the egg pecking pattern and explained how the struggle could last a day and often resulted in the chick resting so heavily that it might look dead.
Because the students would all be experiencing the hatching of chicks in the coming weeks, they were all warned not to touch and never to help the chick in its struggle. To do so would bring serious consequences including possible deformities and even death. As you could imagine, the students were quite surprised that such a large struggle could possibly be so critical to the well being of the chick. As they learned, the difficult struggle was essential to blood flow and strengthening the chick’s body and wings.
As I was writing up the lesson observation I reflected on how several students were confused. Wouldn’t it be compassionate to help the chick in its struggle? The realization that what appeared to be compassionate would actually cause deformities was difficult for the 9 and 10 year olds to understand.
I see many parents who experience the same confusion when it comes to wanting their child to avoid the struggles and sufferings of life. In an effort to make things better parents will complain to the coach for not playing their child enough. Excuses are made when their child does not get school work done and blame is cast if their child does not finish first. I can’t help but wonder if the consequences to a child’s emotional well being are just as severe as to the chick’s physical wel being when parents try to protect children from natural consequences. Maybe life’s bumps and bruises are vital to children’s emotional development. I wonder if the child’s emotional deformities from over protection are just as drastic as the chick’s phisical deformities.
I am sure there will be an entire class of third graders who will be lending support and prayer while chicks go through a great struggle. Those 3rd grade students will be sharing in great joy as each chick is born. But none will dare interfere with God’s plan for the hard physical journey they now know will be key to the development of the chick. Parents, please give your child prayer, biblical advice and support! But, before you interfere in an effort to make life “better” for your child, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons, lest your child grow up underdeveloped emotionally. Recognize that many of the typical childhood difficulties are actually part of the maturing process that God has designed. As parents we can take a lesson from a class of third grade students!
Mark Strohm, Jr.
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Reaching The “Whatever” Generation
By mstrohm | December 27, 2008
The Mid Atlantic Christian School Association (MACSA) has a blog promoting Christian School issues. Recently Steve Cornell, Senior Pastor at Millersville Bible Church presented a seminar on Reaching The “Whatever” Generation to Christian School Administrators. I have provided a link to the message. It is a bit lengthy but well worth the read!
http://www.macsaonline.org/318804.ihtml#h_5875
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Happy New Year
By mstrohm | December 26, 2008
To many children the New Year is nothing but another vacation. But to parents, being more reflective, New Years is a time to assess and evaluate how life is going. As parents this is a good time to reflect on our children. Is your parenting putting your children in the best position possible to learn and grow according to the ways of the Lord? Parenting is not an easy job! Godly parenting is always an act of our will. It never happens automatically without any effort. Therefore, to prevent ourselves from slipping into poor parenting habits we need assess our present practices to make sure we are accomplishing what we desire. Here are some questions to ponder to help you in setting some Parenting New Year’s Resolutions. Of course you will have more questions to ask yourself, these are just to get you started.
- Do I regularly take time to say “I love you” to each of my children?
- Have I been praising my children for what they do right?
- Am I keeping my primary focus on the development of Godly Character?
- Have I slipped into a “multiple request” parent?
- Have I followed through on promises – both the “rewards” and “punishments?”
- Do I have a regular way to teach my children the ways of the Lord? (family devotions, regularly scheduled discussions, etc.)
- Am I pleased with my child’s friends?
May God bless your parenting efforts! Remember, this is a job well worth all the effort.
May God’s grace and peace be with you,
Mark Strohm, Jr.
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