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Flowers and Little Girls
By Administrator | July 19, 2006
Little girls and flowers. Seems like a combination that was made in heaven. For whatever reason, girls are often attracted to and desire flowers. While on vacation this past week, I witnessed two incidents involving flowers and toddlers that concerned me.
While on a walk through a North Carolina neighborhood, a little girl was crying and throwing a fit. She wanted to pick a neighbors’ flower. I could see the struggle her mom was going through. She obviously hated conflict. Her daughter knew this and used her weapon of “producing contention” to perfection. Mom, who foolishly thought the battle was over a flower, tried in vain to explain to the toddler that the flower was not “Mommy’s to give you”. She begged the little girl to come home where she could pick a flower from their yard. I imagine that if I had not been walking by Mom would have thrown in the towel and allowed her to go ahead and pick the neighbor’s flower!
The second incident happened while heading to the beach in South Carolina. On this beach there is restored grassland between the houses and the beach. Among the other types of vegetation growing there short bush-like plant with small yellow flowers populates this shoreline. A family was coming off the beach with a cute little girl holding a stem with a yellow flower on the end. Despite the signs every 20 feet asking that you not to walk on or disturb the vegetation, this family thought it was appropriate to allow their daughter to pick a flower.
As the father of three girls, I know how adorable they can be! When they are little they can bat those eyes and melt your heart quickly. However, children are gifts from the Lord, lent to us for a season and for a reason. When we give in and allow them to have whatever they want, or to take something that is not theirs, it is not only a disservice to them but goes against what God has asked us to teach them! Yes, flowers and little girls were meant to be together, but allowing an inappropriate means to its achievement is not acceptable!
I know that parenting is tough! It is hard work telling our little ones “no” you can’t pick that pretty little yellow flower. We quickly begin to justify away why we should allow them to pick it. After all, there are dozens of little flowers around. Picking one which will die in a little while anyway seems ok. Those guys who set the rules and put up those signs, I am sure they don’t have a cute little girl begging for a flower. “OK”, we rationalize, “go ahead and have what you want, pick the flower that does not belong to us.” But, is that really what we want to teach our children? Remember, those adorable eyes are watching very closely.
They want to know how we live out our faith. Do we really follow God’s command “thou shalt not steal” or do we justify away our thefts? She is watching. Do we lovingly command our children to “obey” or do we quickly give in if they cause conflict? She is watching and learning.
Next time your daughter (or son!) asks for something they can’t have, teach and train them as to why they can’t have it, according to God’s Word. Agree with them, that it is pretty and would be nice to have, but firmly tell them why they cannot. If your child keeps begging and complaining, let them know that they will be punished if they don’t stop immediately.
One little digression here. We should reason with our twelve year olds and command our toddlers. Too many foolish parents try reasoning with their toddlers, then due to its ineffectiveness, reverse course around age twelve and begin to command her or him at the very time one should begin to teach and explain in greater detail. How ironic.
Moms and Dads, you can do it! Hold tough. Take a long term approach even though it is the harder path to walk down. Yes, there will be a few sad times when your lovely daughter will not get the flower she desires. But the goal in the end is to produce a beautiful child whose character is lovelier (OR YOU COULD SAY more desirable) than any flower!
May God’s grace and peace be with you,
Mark and Ellen Strohm
Topics: From Ellen, From Mark, Parenting | 2 Comments »
July 23rd, 2006 at 4:16 pm
Mark & Ellen,
Do you know the story about Uncle John picking flowers? He must have been quite little. Of course, Grandma had taught him that he should never pick the neighbors’ flowers. However, one day he came in from playing, carrying a handful of crocuses. Grandma scolded him for picking them, and his innocent reply was, “But they were lying on the ground.”
Thanks for your encouragement,
Katie
July 23rd, 2006 at 9:45 pm
Too funny! I love it. Children are amusing at times. I guess we have to train ourselves to every so often, step back and allow ourselves to be amused.
Mark