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Your Child Can Do Chores!
By mstrohm | July 26, 2007
Hardly a month goes by where a parent will not comment to me that they find it very difficult to get their children to do chores. They know their child will reap many benefits from daily or weekly chores but they seem unable to make it happen. Here are a few thoughts to help make weekly chores a reality in your house.
First, you have to deal with a few assumptions that prevent you from doing the job needed to get your child to successfully complete his or her chores. Avoid the desire to find a quick and easy answer. Second, realize that just because your child knows or understands what you want, that is not to be mistaken for the discipline it will take to follow through on chores. Perhaps the biggest problem, especially with moms, is a belief that if our child loves us enough they will be motivated to complete chores. If you really want a long term solution, begin by dying to each of these assumptions! Instead roll up your sleeves and recognize it will be a chore for you to get your children to do their chores. Don’t despair, it can be done!
Follow these simple steps to get your child on his or her way to regularly doing chores.
1. Make your expectations clear first to yourself, then to your spouse and finally to your child. Answer these questions: What do you want done? How often do you want it done? When do you want it done? Let’s say you want your child to empty all the trash cans in the house once a week before he or she engages in any activities each Saturday. Now that is clear!
2. Next, mentally prepare a strategy to get your child to succeed. Is there soccer practice at 10:00 am this Saturday? Then talk to your child about how to get this done well before soccer. Follow up with a prompt on Saturday morning as well. Let your spouse know it must be done before soccer.
3. To help sustain success I recommend you put together a simple chart. When our children were little we had a chart with chores and daily expectations on it. We made this in a simple spreadsheet program and listed daily expectations along with periodic chores. Daily expectations included:
a. Get up first call.
b. Get dressed and come to table without being asked.
c. Be at breakfast table before 7:30
d. After coming home from school, put book bag, coats and shoes in proper place without being asked
e. Put away snack
f. Dinner chore (different for each child and rotated by month)
g. “Brush and Flush” on first request
h. Be in pajamas by 7:30 (or in bathtub, etc.)
i. Then we placed a different chore on each day except Wednesday, since we had church that evening (they would get to place the sticker on Wednesday for “free”.)
We purchased small stickers from the dollar store and allowed the child to place the sticker in the square when the chore or expectation was completed. When our children had a “perfect” day they were allowed to choose from a separate basket of after school snacks rather than the typical fruit or crackers. If they managed to get a perfect week (rather rare) then we did something special for them. If they were having a rough day we had a “conference” and strategized on how to do better. My wife and I would also think of ways to help with timely promptings or simple steps to make success easier.
Your children can do chores! It helps trains them for life and responsibility as well as help them be grateful and productive. Success with chores can happen if you adjust your expectations and set your children up for success. Even though it will not save time over doing the chores yourself, you will be training your children for years to come and one day you will join the Strohms in sadness over your favorite bathroom cleaner or lawn mower moving out!
UPDATE: You can download a free Microsoft Word Template that will help you print out a weekly Chart for chores! Click here: Word Chore Chart
Topics: From Ellen, From Mark, Parenting | No Comments »