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Avoid Homework Battles
By mstrohm | October 11, 2009
School is in full swing again. For some families school time marks the beginning of homework struggles! The hope and dreams of a fresh start with the new year being different have quickly faded and instead many parents and their child are once again engaged in the dreaded homework battles.
I have often heard frustrated parents declare that they are clueless how to avoid these battles. “I remind my child to do their homework, but they never get around to doing it” parents will say. The problem is not understanding a set of routines and steps which are required in getting homework completed. Many children need more than just a reminder to do their homework. They need several clearly established routines that will set them up for success. If you find yourself at war with your child here are some suggestions to help you survive! The wise parent will establish expectations, rewards and punishments based on each of these routines, rather than on the end product.
Establish A Time. These times should be the same each day. If you need to get a $10 alarm clock and set it to go off when homework time begins. It is one thing to nag your child about getting his or her homework done, but quite another to have clearly set times which will provide an opportunity to get the homework done. If homework times are non-negotiable and regularly enforced you will be on your way to winning the battle.
Establish A Homework Zone. Once you have established a time help your child know what is and is not acceptable during homework time. It may be common sense to adults that TV, radio, phones, iPods, and other distractions will not help the homework effort, but don’t expect your reluctant child to set up an environment that will give him or her the best shot for success. Clearly establish where and under what conditions you expect homework time to happen.
Establish How To Get Help. Hold your child responsible to get answers to their questions. If he or she does not know how to do a homework assignment teach them how to get help. Should they ask you, call a friend, look it up on the internet? Many children simply stop doing work if they cannot figure out what to do next. By placing the responsibility on them you take away a key weapon in the homework war. Talk through how you expect them to keep working.
Establish Accountability. Know what homework needs to be done and how you will check it before homework time can come to an end. If you need to, work with your child’s teacher. Utilize any computerized homework reporting system. Go to your child’s back-to-school night or conference to find out how you can keep your child accountable.
If routines are enforced without question they often end fighting. A child’s whining and fighting disappear quickly if these actions produce no results. By keeping these clear expectations you will be providing your child with the tools necessary for successfully completing homework.
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